(Their motto? “We care… until it costs.”)
Write. Laugh. Hope.
They call it coverage—
but it disappears the second you need to be covered.
They don’t sell protection.
They sell probability.
And when the odds finally catch up with you?
They run.
Faster than your claim.
Faster than your ambulance.
Faster than your diagnosis can hit the fax machine.
“Denied.”
Because you used the wrong code.
Because you forgot a pre-authorization.
Because your emergency wasn’t emergency enough.
You paid them for years—
Premiums, copays, deductibles, disclaimers…
But when the trauma hits?
When the MRI’s needed?
When the meds cost more than rent?
Suddenly they can’t find your file.
They don’t read charts.
They read margins.
And the only numbers that matter to them
aren’t your test results—
they’re the ones on your bank statement.
“Prior authorization” is just corporate speak for
“Hope you give up before we say yes.”
And they know you will.
Because you’re tired.
Because you’re sick.
Because you’re scared.
And that’s the point.
They profit off hesitation.
They count on confusion.
They weaponize paperwork and call it policy.
And if you die in the delay?
It’s not their fault.
It’s just cost efficiency.
Insurance isn’t safety.
It’s a subscription to suffering that only pays out if you scream loud enough, long enough, and die just slow enough to wait it out.
So if you’ve ever:
- paid thousands to be told “no,”
- fought harder for a claim than for your health,
- been left in limbo while they played God with your coverage…
You already know:
They were never on your side.
Write. Laugh. Hope.
Because what the hell else is there?
