Because want is proof I’m still alive—
and not just surviving, but reaching.
There was a time I didn’t want anything.
Not joy.
Not connection.
Not even coffee.
That kind of numb?
It’s not silence.
It’s suffocation with manners.
So now, even the tiniest flicker—
craving touch,
dreaming something better,
reaching for more than what hurts—
feels like resurrection.
🧠From Flatline to Flicker
There’s something sacred about wanting
after you thought you’d forgotten how.
Want is risky.
It’s soft.
It means you still believe something
might be worth the effort.
And in a world that tried to flatten me—
with loss, with shame, with silence—
I count every desire as a rebellion.
✨ Psychological + Emotional Insight:
- After prolonged trauma or depression, many people experience anhedonia—the inability to feel pleasure or desire.
- This piece reframes the return of wanting (even in tiny doses) as a marker of post-traumatic growth, not greed or foolish optimism.
- It celebrates the emotional courage it takes to hope again, especially after disillusionment or survival mode.
🙏 For the Ones Who Forgot How to Want
This is for:
- The ones who gave up on dreaming because it hurt too much
- The ones who went numb just to get through
- The ones who finally felt a flicker again—and weren’t sure what to do with it
- The ones who are still scared to want anything too loudly