—Running on glitchy brilliance and minimal sleep since forever.
Let’s clear this up once and for all:
I’m not broken.
I’m just operating on a system update you didn’t get.
You’re still on Emotional Windows 95.
I’m out here running Neurodivergent 3.0: Chaos Edition.
I’ve got ADHD, CPTSD, and 47 tabs open—
3 are frozen,
12 are playing music,
and one of them is just a goat screaming.
And no, I don’t know where the sound is coming from.
Yes, I’m still functioning.
Kind of.
I forget your name,
but I remember the tone of voice you used to dismiss me in 2007.
I can’t find my keys,
but I can quote an entire argument I had in my head with a fake therapist while brushing my teeth.
My brain doesn’t “boot up.”
It reboots itself in the middle of a sentence
and sometimes requires snacks, naps, or 48-hour avoidance of all human contact just to send one reply.
I’m not disorganized.
I’m non-linear with style.
My ideas come like meteor showers:
brilliant, erratic, slightly dangerous to satellites.
And when I do load fully?
It’s:
- poems that slap,
- rants that trend,
- and emotional TED Talks disguised as memes.
I’ve got Google Docs titled:
- “Trauma But Make It Funny”
- “Sh*t I Wish I Said to My 8th Grade Principal”
- and “I Think My Cat is Co-Dependent.”
People try to fix me.
Diagnose me.
Muzzle me with calm-down culture and pastel planners.
But I don’t need a fix.
I need bandwidth.
And coffee.
And maybe one whole day without anyone asking me to be normal.
Because this isn’t malfunction.
It’s custom formatting.
Optimized for survival, sarcasm, and finding meaning in digital chaos.
So if I confuse you?
Cool.
You’re not my target audience.
You’re still trying to double-click on my vibe with a rotary phone.
I’m not crazy.
I’m creatively f*cking engineered.
And this software?
Was never meant to be a normal mode. 🧠⚡💻
I’m Not Crazy — I’m Creatively Formatted
I crash, reboot, and rearrange,
My logic loops are “quirky” strange.
I talk in puns, I rhyme my rage,
And color-code my inner cage.
You call it weird? I call it smart.
Neurospicy, pixel art.
My brain’s not broken—just bespoke.
With glittered glitch and phoenix smoke.
—The Funny Phoenix, debugging the DSM
